i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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