wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize