This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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