I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
