so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
