Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
