We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
