I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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