Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
