Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
