are you so shy because you have an std?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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