I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize