Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You are the jesus of drinking
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
