I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
only you would photoshop your dick
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
