I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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