dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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