i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Two words: blizzard sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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