Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
