i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
