Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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