I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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