Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize