This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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