I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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