Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
