people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
