Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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