Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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