Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
