some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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