I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
