I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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