When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
