it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
