next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
