the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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