we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
