She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize