he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
