Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
