What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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