I just threw up on my dentist
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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