if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
