He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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