he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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