This girl is more easily done than said...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
