bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
