just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
