i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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