wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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