I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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