THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
