how can u be prego again
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
