So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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