I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
