Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
