guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Still dying that you shit outside
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
