On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
