so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
