I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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