The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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